


The Beginning

by koalaboy



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman: The Animated Series
Genre: F slur, Gen, Hospitals, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Other, Self Harm, big bad harv/two face is in bold font, if u ship dick/harv i'll come to ur house n put cheetos dust on ur toes, scar mention, the Repression of it all folks, trauma mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-11-01
Packaged: 2021-01-16 08:04:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21267758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koalaboy/pseuds/koalaboy
Summary: Only days after acid is thrown in Harvey's face during the most televised trial in all of Gotham's history, Bruce brings young Dick to see him in hospital as he recovers. Bruce tries to come to terms with almost losing his best friend - and the fact that he still might be losing Harvey to his own mind.





	The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Big Bad Harv is in bold.  
The Repression,,,, the Yearning,,,, the Intricate Rituals

Harvey’s face ached and no amount of painkillers seemed to be able to stop it. It was as if the acid was still there, eroding and burning its way into flesh and bone. He groaned softly in the back of his throat with every breath. He required a temporary feeding tube because of the ulceration of his mouth and damage to his cheek and teeth; it burned his good nostril. He stared at the TV in his room which seemed to do nothing but replay the incident in horrific detail thanks to the vultures on the news. He tilted his head the smallest amount to the side so he could look at the flowers on his bedside table. They were from Bruce, of course, and though he couldn’t smell much of anything, he knew they were pleasant, but not overpowering. Bruce always seemed to know just what to get for the occasion. He reached his hand out to them and fiddled with the petals, an absent smile tugging at the corner of the lip that he could still feel. The IV needle in his arm objected to the movement and stung, but Harvey was stubborn.

**Fucking faggot** , came a voice. It was louder than it had been, far more intimidating, closer. Harvey felt as if he could reach out and touch the words. It made him freeze in fear at how foreign and familiar it sounded. 

“Go away, please,” Harvey mumbled. Talking was hard with only half a mouth free of bandages and nerve and muscle damage. 

“Well, jeez, Harv, if you didn’t want me to come you should’ve called ahead,” Bruce teased, swinging into the room by hooking his fingers on the doorframe and pivoting on the sole of his shoe. He looked tired, Harvey thought - underneath his big extravagant act, he looked tired.

“Oh no, I wasn’t- I didn’t even notice-“ he let out a soft sigh, “Hi, Bruce.”

Bruce beamed at him with perfect, white teeth and stepped inside the room properly. His expression shifted to a more genuine, friendly smile rather than that of Gotham’s poster-boy billionaire. Harvey appreciated the change.

“How are you, Harv?” he asked. He reached out and took Harvey’s hand, lacing their fingers together with confidence. It made Harvey's heart race.

**Moneybags doesn’t care about you, he’s in it for the publicity. You’re so in love you can’t fucking see it.**

“You see me every day you should know,” he murmured back, “Don’t you have a company to run?”

“Yes, but…” Bruce picked away a few pieces of hair that were clinging to Harvey’s damp forehead, “Priorities.” 

**Don’t let him touch us, don’t let him hurt us. He’s only going to hurt us.**

Harvey closed his eyes and breathed slowly. In and out, just like his therapist had told him. 

Bruce watched him in concerned silence for a few moments before he spoke again, “I have a guest for you.”

Harvey’s eyes flung open in distress.

“Don’t worry, it’s not a blind date again. I’m not that shallow. Though I will admit that was two years ago, cut me some slack.” 

His gaze drifted over to the door where a tiny boy peeked into the room. He smiled, which stretched his cheeks and made him flinch in pain.

**Oh, look, it’s the brat** . Harvey cringed and hoped no one noticed.

“C’mere, champ,” he said, patting a small space that was free on his bed. 

Dick ventured closer warily, afraid to go too fast in case he was somehow going to hurt Harvey without even being near him. It all looked very serious with the machines and tubes and bandages that blood always seemed to soak through. 

Dick felt Bruce’s hand on his back and walked over to the bed where he sat cautiously. He fidgeted with his hands in his lap. He didn’t want to look at Harvey. He was scared he was going to be badly hurt or that he’d do something to upset him. 

“I’ll leave you two,” Bruce said softly and after patting Dick on the head he turned and left, closing the door behind him. 

“It’s nice to see you,” Harvey said, fighting through the fog of all the medicine in his system.

“I wanted to come and make sure you were okay,” Dick said, “...A-are you okay, Harv?”

He looked down at the boy and smiled weakly - it faltered for a moment, “Come here. You’re not gonna hurt me, kiddo, promise.”

Dick scooted closer and then crawled so that he was lying beside him, partially on his chest. He felt Harvey rest his arm on his back to keep him close.

“You look tired,” he observed, threading his fingers through Dick’s hair. 

“Mm, nightmares again ‘bout Mom and Dad,” he admitted.

**Life is rough, kid, get over it. ** Harvey tensed for a moment until the overwhelming urge to say such awful things left him.

“Aw, kiddo…” he played with the other’s hair and yawned as best he could considering his situation. It caused his jaw to ache. 

“You smell,” Dick teased, a wary, but playful smile on his face.

He chuckled softly and began to rub the boy’s back absently, “So do you.”

“Mhm,” he hummed, far too tired to object. 

Harvey kept his gaze on Dick as he drifted off to a light slumber, dozing comfortably despite the cramped conditions. He had seen him grow and thrive under Bruce’s care; Bruce was beginning to be far more open, too. It was a good thing. His thoughts drifted to galas spent in the corners of rooms with Dick laughing at the upper class of Gotham, to teaching him the basics of poker, to heartfelt conversations about abuse, growing up poor, and family. 

**Now’s a good time to strangle that annoying fuck. **

“He’s not annoying,” he mumbled under his breath dismissively.

**Break that vase of flowers over his head.**

“I don’t want to hurt him,” he said, more forcefully this time. Dick shifted in his sleep and Harvey tried to calm himself down, “Go away. I’m tired.”

**You’re ** ** _weak_ ** **, is what you are, Harvey.**

“Go away,” he repeated, enunciating his words. 

**Pathetic.**

“Go away!” he cried, gripping the railing of the bed with his good arm. The motion jerked the mattress and Dick woke with a fright. He looked up at Harvey with wide, concerned eyes. His gaze drifted over to the other’s arm, where the sleeve of his shirt had ridden up and small, red cuts in sets of two stood out in the fluorescent lights of the room. 

“I didn’t mean to frighten you,” Harv whispered, trying to collect himself. 

“It’s- it’s okay,” Dick replied with a shaky voice, “I think I… should go get Bruce.”

**This kid is going to snitch on us. We need to deal with him. ** ** _Now_ ** **.**

Harvey pulled his sleeve down. He looked tired, defeated, “Okay, kiddo.”

“Hey, Harv?” 

“Mm?” 

Dick smiled softly, “I love you.”

His breath caught in his throat, “I-I love you too, Dick.”

The boy patted the top of his hand and then shifted off of the bed and out of the room to find Bruce. Harvey could hear the occasional half a word of their conversation and anxiety gurgled and bubbled in his stomach all the way up to his throat. His mouth was drier than usual when Bruce entered again. He tilted his head away in shame.

“I don’t want your lecture about it. I’m dealing with it.”

“I’m not upset. When I was young I used to hurt myself, too. You remember how I... Sometimes I… still think about it,” Bruce admitted slowly.

Harvey looked up at him in shock. This was the first time Bruce had been truthful with him in what he expected to be a very long time. 

**It took you almost fucking dying for him to open up to you - aren’t you supposed to be his ** ** _best friend_ ** **? **

“Harv, I couldn’t help but notice Grace hasn’t come to visit. Is everything alright between you and her?” 

Harvey screwed his eyes shut. That was it - the trigger. Months of anxiety, stress, and fear came pouring out. Harvey sobbed and his tears stung almost worse than the acid.

“I hit her, Bruce. I’ve never done that before— I’d never- never do that. I don’t… I dunno what happened! I was just so angry and it’s like it wasn’t me anymore. I don’t know what’s going on.”

“Harv, it’s okay. I’ll help you-“

“ _ Help me _ ?” he growled,  **“What, you gonna set me up with one of those sluts that are all over you?!”**

Bruce frowned, his posture stiffening. His face was riddled with concern and fear. God, he looked so betrayed. “Harvey, are you—?”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” he muttered, turning his face away, “He doesn’t usually do that…”

Bruce looked over at Dick who was peeking into the room once again. He nodded for him to come in. The boy shuffled close, leaning into his father for comfort. 

“They’re going to put me in Arkham, Bruce. I know it,” Harvey said, his tone cold and grim. It would only be a matter of time. 

“No! No, I won’t let them!” Dick objected, grasping at Harvey’s blanket as if it would keep him there - safe, sane. 

“I will not rest until you are okay again,” Bruce said and his words carried both truth and determination with them. He wiped a stray tear from Harvey’s good cheek with his finger. 

“I’m tired,” Harvey mumbled, his eyelids starting to feel heavy, “I’m sore.”

“Okay, Harv, we’ll let you rest.”

“Can’t I stay with him?” Dick asked.

Bruce smiled sadly down at him, “We can come back tomorrow, chum. I need to talk to Harvey alone. Alfred’s at reception he’ll take you to the car. Do you know your way there?” 

Dick nodded, shuffling sadly out of the room, “Bye Harvey.”

“Bye, kid,” he mumbled, forcing his eyes to stay open. 

Bruce sat on the edge of the bed, watching the IV pump tick and push fluids into his best friends veins. He let the sound of the pump fill the silence for a while until he was ready to let down another wall. 

“They’ve got you on some heavy medication. It can cause hallucinations, vivid dreams. I looked into it.”

“Mm,” Harvey hummed, sceptic. He closed his eyes, or the one good eye, and held onto Bruce’s hand for comfort. 

“Hey, I went to medical school.”

“You dropped out of med school, dumb ass.”

Bruce chuckled, giving Harvey’s hand a squeeze, “You know… you can still talk to me. I’m still, well, me.”

“Mhmm,” he grunted, his voice cracking. 

Bruce’s lips began to tremble as the urge to cry wiggled up his throat. He placed his thumb over them to calm himself down. Everything was happening so fast. He’d been at the trial, ready to see his best friend’s big day. He was so excited to finally see Gotham’s biggest crime family dissolved. And in one split second everything changed. It was like that night in the alley all over again. You think you’ve got your whole life together, you start taking things for granted and suddenly everything gets turned upside down. Harvey hadn't died, but he still felt like he was losing him. He could still hear his screams. He'd never heard him scream like that, not even when they were boys and Harvey broke his arm falling off his bike. They were screams of true madness and Bruce hadn't slept well ever since. The madness had invaded his dreams and it set his paranoia on edge.

“H-hey, uh, Harv?” he breathed.

Harvey pried his eye open, sucking in a breath, “Hmm?”

“I don’t want to lose anyone else,” he said, voice shaking. A statement of fact that was somehow so deeply personal. It was ‘don’t go’ and ‘don’t leave me’ and ‘I can’t go on without you’ all in one, but it was all he could manage to say.

“S’a good thing m’still here then, huh?” he murmured, “Fuck off, m’tired, Bruce Wank.”

“Alright, alright, I’m going. Dick and I will be back tomorrow."

Bruce hovered momentarily over the bed, his eyes checking all the medication dosages, IV's, pumps, and bandages were in place. Everything was okay, he reminded himself. He smoothed the crinkles in the blanket and breathed out a sigh before he left Harvey both alone and in the company of himself all at once. He closed the door behind him, a final barrier of protection against the world and against Arkham.


End file.
